Tag Archives: screaming

#You Were Always on My Miiind…

You Were Always on Myyy Mind…

I have been thinking about the Gloves of Doom. I need to do something with them. I have put it off forever, well, my head wasn’t in the right place to deal with the horror tbh.

I am going to dig out the pattern and have another look today. I need to find out where the seemingly missing row is. I shall put on my Miss Marple hat and try to solve the mystery, and if that fails I shall message the lovely designer on Ravelry, and ask – although I do best when I work stuff out for myself.

To pen and paper and writing out all the rows on the next part.


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Pre-post Post….

Gah, well I was tired on Wednesday, but yesterday I just felt full on awful. I  fell asleep on the sofa and all sorts. This means the flower from the Gloves of Doom didn’t get finished. Today I still feel a bit pants, but I do feel a lot better than I did, so Operation Coffee, Cake and Knitting will still go ahead, and I am taking the flower with me to finish off – this means I will have mostly kept my promise.

Currently have a small but fat black cat perched on my hip trying to stick her cold wet nose into my armpit, or oxter as we say here in Scotland. I should go give her some attention.

Omnomnom, or Nomcat for short.

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So here we go with the Gloves of Doom again.

I decided in my infinite wisdom that I should get a start on the duplicate stitching, as I had promised Tor that I’d have one ready for her to kitchener on to the cuff/first rows of the glove by next Friday. I started midflower as that was where there was the larger number of flat even stitches.

It’s SO fiddly! you have all the increases and the row on the edge and it’s making for a really stiff fabric that is curling up… then you get to the middle section. MY EYES! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!  Staring intently at fairly small stitches, trying to work out how to Dupe the increases left me with a storming headache and an inability to focus (I’m long sighted and think I need new glasses, which didn’t help). I had to take painkillers and lie down in a darkened room…. well, lie on the sofa and listen to the TT racing on the radio.

I have half a flower done and am waiting for a really sunny day to do the other half, so I have the best light possible, but am wincing and can feel my head throbbing just thinking about it.

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Busy Bee and Surgery

I can’t believe it’s been over a week since I last posted.

I have had my visitor come and go, been to the cinema, made brownies, been over to friends for drinks, helped other friends move house, been to the Meadow’s Festival and had my hospital appointment. I have also started a shawl four times, frogged it four times and thrown yarn (admittedly back in to my stash and not across the room).

I am having knitting fail, it’s worse than losing your mojo. Not feeling like doing any knitting I can deal with, I have lots I can do instead, but WANTING to knit and having nothing you pick up go right makes me very cross with myself. Right now I have doubts I could even manage stocking stitch effectively. It’s depressing.

I have had too much nature. Allergies and sun rash, much husky voicedness.

I saw a new doctor (although he assured me we had met before in 2006 when he was a student – I assume his name is in my notes, and not that he remembered me (unless I have particularly memorable lady parts)). He seems nice, is very interested in endometriosis, it’s causes and treatments, and also runs a pain clinic specifically for gynae issues. I should be going in for some surgery about eight weeks. I’m not going to go into gory detail here, but I will be having a laparoscopy to remove endomeriosis deposits and endometrial ablation – if you want to look these procedures up then on your own head be it, I don’t want any complaints though.

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Lots of discussion on capability this past week, a lot of things that were said struck chords to varying degrees.

I’m not a well person, and I don’t just mean right now. Over the years I have suffered from depression, anxiety, post viral fatigue (many times), vertigo, and then there’s the ongoing trouble with endometriosis which I’ve suffered with since I was in my teens. I also have allergies and a herniated lumbar disc….. None of these things are life threatening, but they have all been (and some still are) life limiting.

Right now I’m suffering with undiagnosed pain, we dunno what is causing it. Some days, things are pretty OK. I’ve even, in the last 2 weeks, had 2 mainly pain free days (without resorting to pain pills). Some days are really bad, I take the pills and take to the sofa with a duvet. Then there are the in between days, the days where the pain is there but I can ignore it a bit. I pace myself, I put off taking pain pills so that I can still function properly. The diclofenac builds up in my system, so one day of taking them isn’t bad but by the third day, I’m pretty much a sleepy space cadet, the codeine, these days mostly makes me feel sick, which the pain does as well..

Some days I can do stuff, some days I can’t. Some days I can face seeing/talking to people, some days I can’t. It does make it pretty hard to be friends, nobody is ever sure if you will be able to do stuff, arranging to do stuff is difficult as nobody including yourself knows how you will be feeling on any given day. People can also just assume that you won’t be able, so they don’t ask you to do stuff at all.

Today, I am grateful for the spur of the moment invitation to meet up with someone, that they asked knowing full well I might have to say no, but still asked I’m also grateful that I was able to go. I think I might try not to concentrate so much on the things I can’t do, I’d much prefer to enjoy the things that I can.

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10 things

I have learned in the last few days

  1. How to do a nice crocheted provisional cast on.
  2. That lace doesn’t need to be scary.
  3. Knitting lace and watching tv do not mix a) you mess up the knitting b) whilst fixing the mess you made of the knitting you miss a huge chunk of the programme you are watching.
  4. Attempting to knit lace after a long day, on 4 hours sleep, is a slightly surreal experience.
  5. It’s amazing how creative your language can get whilst attempting to knit lace after a long day on 4 hours sleep…
  6. You never knew that cat could look like she was asking for ear plugs just by twitching her ears at you like that.
  7. The cat gets pointy when you wake her up looking for the stitch markers she is lying on.
  8. She also gets pointy when you try to move her off your yarn.
  9. And when you try to stop her playing with the ends of your lifeline.
  10. Using an autumnal coloured yarn comes in handy for hiding the bloodstains from the scratches you have on your hands after the cat has been pointy that many times.

I may have more to add later

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Lace & Concentration.

Sometimes when we’re stressed or worried about something, we choose to knit something simple. After the fire, I put away chevrons, lace edging, and knitting that needed any thought at all. I needed *mindless* stocking and garter. I chose a pattern I could pick up and put down easily, something that let me just slip off in to the meditation of knitting. Therapy.

Lately, in my current *stress*, I tried mindless. I started new projects of much stocking stitch, only to find that they weren’t lulling me , and making me feel relaxed. The garter stitch scarf was a nice way to pass a day, but I was impatient for it to be finished. To be perfectly honest these projects let me think too much. I needed harder knitting.

Last night as I was fidgeting my way round the laptop folders, I found a pdf I didn’t recognise. Unless the cat has been downloading things, it *must* be mine.. thing is it’s a lace shawl… *has the fear*. I remember the agony of trying to get a lowly lace border knitted on the Emeralds & Garnets. Having discovered the horror of what the pdf contained, and having had a lie down in a darkened room and some hot sweet tea to soothe my nerves, I had a look at it again (through hands over my eyes) and amazingly, I didn’t have to take a tranquilizer, not even a beta blocker. I found myself reading the pattern and thinking “that doesn’t look too bad”.

I resisted the urge to call the men in the white coats, instead I picked up some needles and yarn, I YouTubed a provisional cast on and I started knitting. I am ashamed, and somewhat terrified, to admit I liked it. My head was too full of Yarn Overs, SKPs and K2togs to think about anything else.

I think the cat was pretty shocked at the swearing and shouting. I unknit, I reknit, I cursed, I called upon the Knitting Gods to intervene and, at 3am, when I was just about to cry and throw my knitting against the wall, I finished my row and I had the right number of stitches, not only that, they all seem to be in the right places. A Knitting Miracle had occurred! Not only that but it continued, I knit another 4 rows and STILL had the right number and they still seemed to be in the right places. I had overcome my Lace Knitting Phobia!

I guess I should share the pattern… it’s the Kiri shawl by  Polly Outhwaite at All Tangled Up. I decided to knit it in my Manos Silk Blend as that was what I had to hand and the Leo colourway is nicely autumnal for a leaf pattern.

*liked the post the interwebs ate better than this one*


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