Something that made me smile

“Good night… I feel as if we’ve known each other for a lifetime, it’s a rare thing to connect so… amazing..

all our love, all my love…”

Friends are special.

Hmmmmm….

Lots of discussion on capability this past week, a lot of things that were said struck chords to varying degrees.

I’m not a well person, and I don’t just mean right now. Over the years I have suffered from depression, anxiety, post viral fatigue (many times), vertigo, and then there’s the ongoing trouble with endometriosis which I’ve suffered with since I was in my teens. I also have allergies and a herniated lumbar disc….. None of these things are life threatening, but they have all been (and some still are) life limiting.

Right now I’m suffering with undiagnosed pain, we dunno what is causing it. Some days, things are pretty OK. I’ve even, in the last 2 weeks, had 2 mainly pain free days (without resorting to pain pills). Some days are really bad, I take the pills and take to the sofa with a duvet. Then there are the in between days, the days where the pain is there but I can ignore it a bit. I pace myself, I put off taking pain pills so that I can still function properly. The diclofenac builds up in my system, so one day of taking them isn’t bad but by the third day, I’m pretty much a sleepy space cadet, the codeine, these days mostly makes me feel sick, which the pain does as well..

Some days I can do stuff, some days I can’t. Some days I can face seeing/talking to people, some days I can’t. It does make it pretty hard to be friends, nobody is ever sure if you will be able to do stuff, arranging to do stuff is difficult as nobody including yourself knows how you will be feeling on any given day. People can also just assume that you won’t be able, so they don’t ask you to do stuff at all.

Today, I am grateful for the spur of the moment invitation to meet up with someone, that they asked knowing full well I might have to say no, but still asked I’m also grateful that I was able to go. I think I might try not to concentrate so much on the things I can’t do, I’d much prefer to enjoy the things that I can.

Slowly, Slowly..

I’m still trying to get things organised properly after changing the living room. So much stuff got piled in the bedroom, the laundry got left to wash itself (didn’t work), and I ate lots of *bought* meals (as opposed to cooked meals). This lack of useful activity was compounded by my normal Endo pain which lasted over the weekend.

Today was mostly laundry, which helped clear space in the bedroom so I could get started in there. Bed needs changed and there is one more load to go in the machine, then I’ll dust & vacuum. Pile of mending can go on to the shelves, instead of sitting on top of the chest of drawers.. doesn’t mean I’ll get round to fixing those hems or buttons any sooner, but it looks tidier. Tomorrow I’ll also empty & take out the bins. It might almost be like a real person lives here after that.

Knitting has NOT been going so well up until today. I started numerous projects and frogged all of them. My head was still pretending it was full of mince. I finally managed today, on try #4, to work all the set up and 1 pattern repeat of Arabella by Kristen Hanley Cardozo, Number 4 mainly because I got a little lost  and when I tried to frog back to my lifeline I snagged and snapped the yarn. I bought the double package of Kristen’s shawl patterns, and might use my Precious 4 ply for a Clothilde. I have also made a little headway on my cardi for Tor, she saw my Not Just Noro in the flesh (much nicer than the pictures) and wants one.. did I tell you all this before? Like I said head has been mince, so I apologise for any repeating.

Mince!

I have no idea where my lace knitting head has gone.

Over the past few days I’ve cast on and frogged SO much knitting, mainly due to a total lack of concentration on my part (adding or missing yos). Rather than mangle any really lovely yarn, I’m now using the free Colourmart Yarn I got with a YF sub. It’s nice, it’s merino, but it was free and therefore I’m not getting as cross with myself for mangling small amounts of it.

I have lot’s of pictures to put up here and on Ravelry, but the camera is far… and I am being feeble. I am considering seeing if taking painkillers and more coffee might make for a more surreal, but less painful day, but again that means getting up off the sofa. Yup, you know it’s a bad day when you are feeling too hurty to go get the pain pills…. wonder if I have any stashed in my handbag it, at least, is in feeble flailing distance.

Pitchurs soon..

Today I remembered to get batteries for the camera!

Tomorrow there may well be decent knitting, yarn and new, clear livingroom & desk pictures…

Stay tuned to this channel.

Will it ever end?

The House of Raa is in an uproar. The trip to Ikea yesterday was a HUGE success, I have a new bookcase and a little unit (they were out of the dvd tower in birch). I now have a wall of books and dvds and a huge mess to tidy up.

The exciting part is the little cube unit. It’s by my desk, it will take my yarn winder, all my knitting porn (patterns & books), thread boxes, my sewing machine and some yarn (I hope) this will mean I have a CLEAR DESK, that’s never happened before.

HUGE thanks to Pid and Bear for the trip and help lugging stuff up to the third floor. Cake and pie were not payment enough by half.

Now just to get things back in to some semblance of order before H arrives for dinner….. Eeeep!

Learn to read, young Raa (well OK not so young)

I don’t mean books here, or even patterns (although reading charts would be useful). I need to learn to read me. A lot got done yesterday, I escaped much of the aftermath. I think the bath and painkiller before bed were a stroke of genius on my part. All I have suffered from today is an over abundance of tired. I ended up back in bed for a chunk of the day.

I should know by now that tired+knitting=frogging. It’s a simple equation, easy to remember. Except when you are tired and a determined bugger. The Gypsy Rose Leaf got cast off very slowly last night. It’ll get blocked once I’m organised and not about to have a dinner guest. Today I hummed and hawed over what to do next. I have four WsIP right now, 2 only need blocked (see dinner guest above), 1 only needs seamed (not feeling the seaming love) and the last one is a snuggley scarf (not the weather right now to give me the impetus to go on with that… even up here in Scotland). Should I wait for more yarn to (magically drop out of the sky) arrive in the post or should I decide on a pattern for the current gorgeousness in easy reach? A bird in the hand and all that… I cast on Spring Thaw with the Starshine Angel 2 ply. I managed to keep track, even whilst making that apple pie, at least initially.

Row 16 K3 Purl to end K3… hang on this is a pattern row *unknits purls* I’ve already done that row.. Row 17 Why don’t I have the right number of sts? Oh Poop! I’ve already DONE that row… *checks properly* Row 21…. lalalalal.. hm mm this isn’t right.. why do I have  38 sts on this side of the centre and only 34 on the other side… *brain explodes* and frogging ensues.

Now, not only can’t I read myself, to tell that I am too tired for this lace malarky, but I am not familiar enough with this pattern to read back along my knitting and spot where I went wrong, or to read it as I am going and spot mistakes as they happen. The first wee bit is far too early to put in a lifeline.. and something else, I really need to mark off rows as I go. Lessons hopefully learned.

Tomorrow, well, I have things to do that involve screwdrivers and Ikea, so we’ll see if knitting happens, but at least I have pie.

The day that never happened… kinda

Today has been a day of non-events.

I set out for Tesco this morning firmly fixed on popping in to La Cerise for coffee and either a croissant or a scone on my way back. Thus fortified I was determined that the apple pie making would happen! Instead… there was no cake 😦 La Cerise don’t open on Sunday now. I popped home looked at the kitchen, didn’t make apple pie, looked at my knitting… didn’t finish the shawl, grabbed 2 ginger cookies, and a big bag and set off out again.

Last year I got a capsicum growing kit but, with all the upheaval after the fire and going back to work, I never got round to actually planting the seeds. Today I walked a mile and half to B&Q got extra pots and compost then walked back home and planted pepper seeds. I looked at the kitchen, didn’t make apple pie, looked at my knitting… didn’t finish the shawl and headed out again, hopped on a bus to Yo! Sushi… only to discover they closed early on Sunday… I pondered eating eslsewhere, but since I was having no luck eating out.. I headed home, I looked at the kitchen, didn’t make apple pie, looked at my knitting… didn’t finish the shawl.. I did wash some dishes though.

Anyway I reckon I walked 5 miles today, that’s the farthest I have walked in months, I’m really surprised I managed it. I ache a little. What could be nicer that a warm bath as a pick me up? Then relaxed and in clean jammies I could knit the 3 remaining rows of the Gypsy Rose Leaf shawl and go to bed feeling like I had accomplished something (even if there was still no apple pie).

I turned on the taps… went and looked for towels… chose marshmallow scented body scrub.. tested the water… it wasn’t hot. I looked in the central heating cupboard – control panel display blank, I decide it must be a fuse, I actually FOUND a replacement fuse and inserted it.. panel now works… heating still doesn’t. I think the new part that was installed last week is what caused the fuse to go…, now I am back to only having central heating while the water heater is on. Will call it in tomorrow.

But no bath yet for me, still no finished shawl and still no apple pie… although there is now pastry ready to use in the fridge.

Pants on Fire!!

I got stir crazy today, I went out and came home with bread and beer. I have only done 4 rows of the shawl edging… Once again I have made myself a big fat liar by not doing what I said I would…

Ooops?

Knitting fuel

I finally gave up with the DeLonghi coffee machine today, although it still works, it has *issues*. I cannot survive in a world without fresh coffee in the mornings. I can barely believe I couldn’t drink the stuff for 20 years. It now takes at least 2 large shot cups to get me functional, and a macchiato mid afternoon keeps me going until dinner. Without those little lightning bolts of caffeine I’d never be able to knit and a duvet would be my constant companion. This time I kinda pushed the boat out a little on the price (I may even need to stop buying yarn for a while.. yeah like that will ever happen), I bought a very shiny Dualit espressivo. Unlike the DeLonghi it doesn’t make filter coffee, but I think I only used it for that twice anyway. It is also a Which recommended gadget. So far I like it, it heats up fast, makes good coffee and gives a good crema layer.

The coffee machine buying did keep me out later than planned though, I didn’t get home until 5.45pm, and we all know that the NDS update is 5.30pm.. I dropped my bags threw some food at the cat to keep her quiet and fired up the laptop in full expectation of having missed out on ALL the Precious in ANY colour, never mind Gold (notice I’m not linking to the yarn, as it will probably all be gone before you get there :P). I was lucky though I managed to get a skein each of the 4 ply and the lace. Now I really need to decide what the heck I’m going to knit with all this yarn.

Such a long post and actual knitting has barely been mentioned!

I shall rectify that now though. The Gypsy Rose Leaf will have the edging knit tomorrow and be cast off! Hopefully I can get some decent pictures of it then. Although I do realise I keep promising pictures and not providing any, I did look at batteries the other day, but couldn’t remember what I needed them for, it is, of course, the camera.